Four Years

Dear Luke,
Happy 4th birthday!  Your birthday is a day that we like to celebrate as if you were here - decorations, cake, balloons.  We always have a balloon release and visit your grave.  But this year none of those things happened.  Life has changed so much for us this year - the kids are both in school full-time, I am working now and have a church calling that made it so we couldn't do our usual birthday celebrations.  But that doesn't mean it wasn't a special day...

Today was filled with phone calls and texts from family and friends.  At one point I heard a knock on my door and found my neighbor standing on the porch with a bouquet of flowers.  Dad came to the school for lunch where we sat in my classroom and ate sandwiches and cake balls.  Later in the day one of my students gave me a little "treasure" she found out on the playground - the tiniest pinecone I've ever seen.  It's silly how much that little pinecone meant to me at that moment.  But isn't that how it is?  It's the little things - those little tender mercies - that make all the difference.  I experienced countless tender mercies today.

I went to Young Women's tonight where we encouraged the girls to share their thoughts and beliefs about Christ and the gospel on-line.  I feel that I can't ask them to do something that I am not willing to do.  I feel there is no better birthday present I could give you today than to share my own testimony, for you are one of the reasons my testimony in Christ is so strong.

I know that Christ lives.  I know that he has made it possible for us to live with our Heavenly Father again.  I know he is a loving God who hears and answers our prayers.  But most important to me at this time is my knowledge that families ARE FOREVER!  It is this knowledge that gets me out of bed everyday, that puts a smile on my face, and motivates me to be the best person I can be.  I know I will see you again, that death is not eternal.  I know your spirit is just as alive today as it was when I felt your little butterfly kicks in my belly.  I feel you so strongly.  And that brings me unspeakable peace and happiness.

I am forever grateful that you joined our family.  We love and miss you.
Love,
Mom